A thank-you for your befriending volunteer: a photo from the weekly cup of tea as a jigsaw, with your note at the end

Written by the team behind Puzzlify. Puzzlify is our product, so weigh what follows with that in mind. We've tried to make this useful even if you never use it. We're not affiliated with Age UK, Re-engage, Independent Age, the Royal Voluntary Service, any befriending network, any local befriending or telephone befriending scheme, any friendly visitor or telephone reassurance programme in the US, Canada or Australia, any council, NHS organisation, care provider, charity or similar organisation. Nothing here is legal, safeguarding, medical or privacy advice. Check the scheme's own rules on gifts, photos, contact details and contact between volunteers and the people they befriend. If you're worried about someone's safety, contact the emergency services.

It's five to eleven on a Thursday morning in January, and a retired bus driver is sitting at his kitchen table with a mug of tea, a notepad and his phone, waiting for the clock to tick round. At eleven exactly, he dials. The phone rings eight times, because it always does, and then a voice says "Hello, is that you, Derek?" and he says "It's me, Margaret. How's the robin?" For the next forty minutes they talk about the robin that visits her bird table, the snow forecast, the soup she made yesterday, her late husband's allotment, the football, and a programme about canals they both watched on Tuesday. She laughs twice. He makes a note to look up the name of the canal. At the end she says, as she always does, "Same time next week?" and he says, as he always does, "Wouldn't miss it." They have never met. She is ninety-one and lives alone forty miles away; she hasn't left the house since her fall in the autumn, and some weeks his is the only voice she hears. He found the scheme through a leaflet in the library after his wife died, because the house was too quiet for him, too.

That's a befriending volunteer. Across the UK, befriending schemes match volunteers with people who are lonely or isolated, most often older people living alone, but also carers, people with long-term illnesses or disabilities, people with mental health conditions, young people, new parents, refugees and people recently bereaved. Some volunteers visit in person, usually once a week, for a cup of tea, a walk, a trip to the shops or a game of cards. Others are telephone befrienders who ring at the same time each week, often through a system that keeps their own number private. Some schemes are run by large national charities; many more are small local projects run from a church hall, a community centre or a council office. In the United States, Canada and Australia, similar programmes go by names like friendly visitors, telephone reassurance or community visitors. Almost all of the volunteers are unpaid. What they give is time, attention and reliability: the knowledge that someone will ring, someone will knock, someone will remember the robin.

If a befriender has made a difference to your mum, your grandad or your neighbour, if someone rings you every week and you'd like to say thank you, if you coordinate a scheme and want to thank your volunteers, or if you're a family member who has watched a lonely person brighten because of a weekly visit, this is a guide to saying thank you well. It covers the words, the rules that matter for befriending schemes, timing, photos you can use without causing problems, and one small idea from us: a photo from the weekly cup of tea, turned into a short private jigsaw, with your note appearing when the last piece goes in. We'll also be honest about when a card, a message through the scheme or simply a few kind words is the better choice.

Who we mean by befriending volunteers

"Befriending volunteer" covers a lot of quiet, patient people. When we say it here, we mean:

• face-to-face befrienders who visit someone at home, usually once a week, for a chat, a cup of tea, a walk or a trip out;
• telephone befrienders who ring at the same time every week, sometimes for years, and are often the most reliable voice in someone's week;
• volunteers who run befriending groups, lunch clubs and tea parties, and the drivers who bring people to them;
• volunteers who befriend people in care homes, hospitals or hospices, through schemes that arrange visits there;
• befrienders who support specific groups: carers, people living with dementia or sight loss, young people, new parents, refugees and people recently bereaved;
• scheme coordinators and volunteer managers who match volunteers with the people they befriend, run the checks and training, and keep everyone safe;
• friendly visitors and telephone reassurance volunteers in the US, Canada, Australia and elsewhere, who do similar work under their own programmes and rules.

Most of them have busy lives of their own. Many started befriending after a change of their own: retirement, bereavement, a move to a new town, or simply realising how many people in their street they'd never spoken to.

Words first

Before any gift, think about the words, because for most befrienders the words are the gift. Befriending is quiet work. There are no medals, no public thanks and often no one else in the room. Volunteers rarely know whether they're making a difference, especially on the weeks when the conversation is slow or the person is tired, low or unwell.

A few things make a thank-you land:

• Be specific about the small things. "You remembered the name of every one of Mum's grandchildren" means more than "thanks for all you do."
• Tell them what changed. "Dad used to dread Thursdays. Now he's ready by the door at ten to two" is the kind of sentence befrienders carry around for years.
• Name the reliability. The calls that never missed a week, the visit made through snow, the birthday card that always arrived on the right day.
• Mention the coordinator. The person who made the match often never hears how it turned out.
• Don't add a request. Keep the thank-you separate from questions about extra visits, help with errands, care needs or complaints; those have their own channels.
• Keep it short. A few sincere sentences beat a long letter that never gets written.

If you only do one thing, write those few sentences and send them through the scheme coordinator, or hand them over at the next visit. Everything else here is optional.

Who it suits

A thank-you like this can come from many directions:

• the person who is befriended, perhaps with help from family to make or send it;
• a son, daughter, grandchild or neighbour who has seen the difference a befriender has made, and wants them to know;
• a scheme coordinator thanking volunteers at the end of a year, at a volunteers' celebration or during a national volunteers' week;
• care home, hospital or hospice staff thanking volunteers who visit residents and patients;
• fellow volunteers saying goodbye to someone stepping down after many years;
• the family of a volunteer, thanking them for the Thursday afternoons and Sunday phone calls they give away.

Gift rules, boundaries and good manners

Befriending relies on clear, gentle boundaries, and those boundaries protect both the volunteer and the person they befriend. Schemes vary, so take what follows as general guidance and check the scheme's own rules.

• Many schemes ask volunteers not to accept gifts. This is common, and it isn't unkindness: it protects older and vulnerable people from feeling they have to give something back, and protects volunteers from any misunderstanding. A card, a message or a few kind words are almost always fine.
• Small and modest is best. If the scheme allows gifts at all, a homemade card, a drawing or a small treat at Christmas is the kind of thing that's usually welcome. Cash, vouchers, loans and anything of real value are best avoided, and gifts in wills are a separate matter for the charity, not for individual volunteers.
• Respect the contact rules. Many telephone befriending schemes keep volunteers' phone numbers and addresses private, and ask people not to swap personal details. Don't try to find a volunteer's personal contact details or social media; send your thank-you through the scheme.
• Send it through the coordinator if you're unsure. Coordinators are used to passing on thanks, and they'll know whether a gift is allowed.
• Never present a personal gift as official. Don't use the charity's or scheme's logo in your puzzle as if it came from them.
• Keep donations separate. If you'd like to give money, give it to the scheme or charity through its proper route, and keep your personal thank-you separate.

None of this makes saying thank you complicated. It just means keeping it small, sending it through the scheme, and respecting the boundaries that make befriending safe for everyone.

When to send it

There's no wrong time to say thank you, but some moments are natural:

• on the anniversary of the match, a year after the first visit or call;
• at Christmas or New Year, when loneliness can be at its sharpest and befrienders often make an extra effort;
• during a national volunteers' week or a loneliness awareness week, if the scheme marks one;
• when a match comes to an end, because the person is moving into a care home, the volunteer is moving away, or the person no longer needs the support;
• when a volunteer steps down after many years;
• after a bereavement, when a family wants the befriender to know how much the visits or calls meant.

If the person who was befriended has died, families sometimes worry it would be strange to contact the volunteer. It usually isn't. Many befrienders say that hearing from the family, through the scheme, helped them grieve too. Take as long as you need, and send it only if and when it feels right.

Why a jigsaw can fit

Most thank-yous are read once and put away. A short jigsaw takes a few minutes to solve, and in those minutes the person is looking closely at a picture you chose, piece by piece, before your note appears at the end. For a befriender, a photo of the two teacups on the table, the bird feeder they've talked about every week, or the bench where they sit on fine days says "we noticed" without saying anything private. For a telephone befriender who has never seen the house, a photo of the armchair by the phone, the robin on the bird table or the view from the window can be a lovely way to show them a world they've only ever heard about.

It isn't a replacement for words. It's a way of wrapping them, so they get a moment of attention before they're read.

If someone befriends your mum, dad or grandparent

If you're the son, daughter or grandchild of someone who is befriended, you've probably noticed the difference before anyone else: a brighter voice on the phone, a new story about the volunteer, a sudden interest in canals or cricket. You may also feel a little guilty that someone else is visiting when you can't. Try not to. Befriending isn't a replacement for family; it's an extra thread in someone's life, and many befrienders say the families who thank them make the work feel worthwhile.

Ask your parent or grandparent what they'd like to say, and help them say it. A photo for your message could be something from their week: the teapot and two cups, the jigsaw they're doing on the coffee table, the bird table, the garden in bloom, the crossword with the answers filled in. If they'd like to be in the photo themselves, and they're comfortable with it, that's their choice; if not, a photo of their hands holding a mug, or their slippers by the fire, can say just as much. Send it through the coordinator, or let them hand it over in a card at the next visit.

If you're the person who is befriended

If someone rings or visits you every week and you'd like to say thank you, you don't need to make anything at all; telling them, in your own words, is a lovely gift in itself. If you'd like to do something more, a family member, a carer or a friend can help you make a puzzle from a photo of something you share: the robin, the garden, the view from your window, or the old photo of the seaside town you've talked about so many times. Let the coordinator know, so they can check it's fine and pass it on.

If you coordinate a scheme or volunteer alongside them

Coordinators and volunteer managers see the whole picture: the matches that clicked from the first visit, the volunteers who kept going through difficult weeks, the people who were helped to rejoin a lunch club or reconnect with family. If you're thanking one volunteer, or the whole team at the end of a long year, a photo from a volunteers' get-together can be perfect: a table laid for tea, bunting in the community hall, a stack of Christmas cards ready to post, a row of mugs, or the phones on the desk where telephone befrienders make their calls, taken within the scheme's own rules and without the people who are befriended in the frame unless they've agreed. For a volunteer stepping down after many years, a larger, slower puzzle with notes from the people they've worked with makes a lovely send-off. Make sure everyone is comfortable with any photo of them before it goes into a puzzle.

Photo consent and choosing the picture

The best photos for a befriending thank-you are usually of places and things, not people. A few ideas:

• two teacups and a plate of biscuits on a kitchen table, with nothing personal in the background;
• the bird table, the robin, or the window box everyone talks about;
• the garden bench, the park, the canal path or the café table where they meet on fine days;
• the armchair by the phone, with a notepad and a cup of tea, for a telephone befriender;
• a half-finished jigsaw, a pack of cards, a crossword or a library book they've shared;
• an old seaside postcard or a favourite view the person loves talking about;
• a card made by a grandchild, with "thank you" in felt tip and no names visible.

A few kindnesses keep it comfortable and safe:

• ask the person who is befriended before using a photo of them or their home, and respect a no;
• ask volunteers before using a photo of them; many prefer not to be identified;
• leave out house numbers, street names, letters, medicines, care plans, bank statements and anything with personal details;
• don't include the volunteer's surname, phone number or address, or anything that would reveal details the scheme keeps private;
• avoid the charity's logo as the focus, so it doesn't look official;
• if in doubt, use two teacups on the kitchen table. Every befriender recognises it, and it says "thank you" without showing anyone at all.

Getting a good JPG

Kitchen tables and front rooms can be dim, which makes photos grainy, so a few things help:

• Colourful things make satisfying puzzles: a patterned teapot, a bunch of flowers, a red robin against green leaves, a bright knitted blanket.
• Big areas of plain wall, tablecloth or sky are hard to solve, so crop in on the interesting part, or go lower on pieces.
• Take the photo near a window in daylight rather than under a ceiling light, and turn off the flash.
• If there's writing you want people to read, like "thank you" on a card, take the photo straight on and pick a higher piece count.
• Save the original JPG straight from your phone or camera rather than a copy from a messaging app, which compresses it. If your photo is in another format, save it as a JPG first.

Privacy, an optional PIN, and saying it's from you

The puzzle sits behind a private link, so only people you send it to can open it. If you'd like an extra layer, add a short PIN and share it separately, for example in a card handed over at the next visit.

Befriending schemes are, quite rightly, careful about unexpected links, and many volunteers are wary of scams. So say clearly that the link is from you and that it's a thank-you, not a request. A one-line message helps: "This is a thank-you puzzle for Derek, from Margaret and her family. It's a photo of the robin on the bird table with a note at the end. It's not asking for anything, and the PIN is in the card." If you're sending it through the coordinator, they can pass it on.

How many pieces?

Times vary with the photo. For a thank-you, finishing beats difficulty; 48 or 80 is a gentle middle. Walls, sky and tablecloths are harder, so go lower if most of the picture is one colour.

The leaderboard: only for a group of volunteers

If you're thanking a whole team of volunteers, you can turn on the leaderboard so everyone solves the same photo, perhaps before a volunteers' tea party. Ask the coordinator first; some groups would rather keep things simple. For one volunteer, or a puzzle in memory of someone who was befriended, leave the leaderboard off.

A few note ideas

The note appears when the last piece goes in, so keep it short and warm:

• "Every Thursday at eleven, for three years, the phone has rung. Mum says it's the best part of her week. Thank you, Derek."
• "To our befriender: you never missed a single visit, not even in the snow. Dad is always ready by the door at ten to two. Thank you."
• "From all of us at the scheme: thank you for a year of phone calls, tea and patience. You've made so many weeks less lonely."
• "To our volunteer, stepping down after ten years: hundreds of visits, thousands of cups of tea and always time to listen. Thank you."
• "Mum talked about your visits right to the end. Thank you for every Tuesday. It meant more than we can say."
• "To Grandad, who rings three people every week: we're so proud of you."

How to make one (about a minute of setup)

1. Open Puzzlify's puzzle maker in a browser: https://puzzlify.app/en/puzzle-maker/
2. Upload the photo (JPG works best).
3. Choose a piece count for how much time they might have and how detailed the photo is.
4. Add your thank-you note and, if you like, a PIN and a leaderboard (for a group of volunteers only).
5. Preview for free. When you're happy, publish the link with one credit and send it with a message, in a card at the next visit, or through the scheme coordinator.

Honest pricing and notes

The preview is free, so you can see exactly what the puzzle looks like before paying anything. You only pay when you publish the link: one credit is €3.99, three credits are €8.99, and Plus is €14.99 a year for ten credits. If you're thanking several people (the befriender, the coordinator and the driver who brings Dad to the lunch club, say), three credits works out cheaper per puzzle; for one thank-you, one credit is enough. If money is tight, a card, a message or a few kind words cost nothing and are a perfectly good choice. If you'd like to see it first, the free preview is here: https://puzzlify.app/en/puzzle-maker/

The person who receives the link doesn't need an account, an app or a printer; it opens in a normal web browser. Photos are not used to train AI and are not shared with third parties.

This is a digital jigsaw you play on a screen. It isn't a cardboard puzzle in the post, a printed product or a public puzzle board, and it isn't connected to any befriending scheme, charity or council. It's also not puzzlify.io (a chess site), Puzzlit, Puzzly or Puzzify, which are different things with similar names. A message in your own words is often what people remember, so the puzzle works best alongside one rather than instead of one.

If the scheme doesn't allow volunteers to accept gifts, a puzzle may count as one, so ask the coordinator first; a card or a message through the scheme is always fine. Never present a personal gift as if it came from the scheme, and never use its logo in your puzzle as if it were official.

Other ways to say thank you (no Puzzlify needed)

1. A card or a short letter, handed over at the next visit or sent through the coordinator; befrienders often keep these for years.
2. Telling the coordinator what difference the volunteer has made, so it can be passed on and recognised.
3. A donation to the scheme or charity, in your own name or in someone's honour, through its proper route; it pays for the training and checks that make the next match possible.
4. Volunteering yourself, if you have an hour a week; schemes often have waiting lists of people hoping to be matched.
5. A short, kind note in the local paper, parish magazine or community newsletter, saying what the scheme means to your family, without anyone's personal details.
6. For a long-serving volunteer stepping down, a small book of thank-you notes from the people they've befriended, their families and colleagues, collected by the scheme with permission.

Whatever you send, the most important part is the sentence that sounds like you, written to the people who ring at eleven every Thursday, knock on the door with a smile on a wet Tuesday, remember the names of the grandchildren and the robin, and go home knowing that for one afternoon, or forty minutes on the phone, someone who might otherwise have spoken to no one all week had a friend.

Written by the team behind Puzzlify. Not affiliated with Age UK, Re-engage, Independent Age, the Royal Voluntary Service, any befriending network or scheme, council, NHS organisation or care provider. Not legal, safeguarding, medical or privacy advice. Check the scheme's own rules on gifts, photos, contact details and contact between volunteers and the people they befriend.